You probably didn’t think things could possibly get any worse didn’t you – I certainly thought that – absolutely no bloody chance.

So this morning I logged onto my Post Office account (I couldn’t even do that on Friday) and was amazed to find that I could.  Whoopee have they quietly reactivated it then?  No chance!  When I went to transfer out all my money to my Bank account – I couldn’t 🙁  Another phone number on the page and this time a helpful guy on the end of the line – how unbelievably refreshing.  He is so helpful he actually tells me what I need to do to reactivate my account without waiting for this stupid bloody letter – which – as you have already guessed, hasn’t arrived yet.  So what do I do?  I need to get my Passport photocopied (for identity) and a Bill copied (for address verification) and also get them certified at a Post Office who will then send the lot off.  Great!!  I can get things moving 🙂  Don’t be so stupid Greg – you know it’s not going to be that easy.  So, first thing I do is phone up the local Brockenhurst Post Office.  “Hello – do you have a copier so I can get some documents copied and certified by you?” – Answer “Yes, but the service costs £2.50” – Me “That’s fine, I’ll be along shortly”.  After a quick lunch I walk into the village with all the documents and ask if they can copy and certify my documents – you know already what’s coming don’t you.  “We don’t have a copier”  Yes of course I lost it.  What now?  Well the newspaper shop across the road always had a copier.  Yes that was now closed as it was going to become a Sainsbury’s.  O.K. I’m beginning to get the message – in a past life I completely f***ed something up good and proper and now was paytime.  What now?  Two mile walk back home, jump in the car with all the paperwork and go to the main Lymington Post Office – they actually have a copier in there too!!  Very helpful lady, bits get copied, she certifies them, and even has a pre-paid envelope for them to go off First Class to the proper address.  Can’t believe that last bit APPEARS to have gone through.

Leave the Lymington Post Office in shock, and anger and high blood pressure and everything else you can think of.  Well as I’m in Lymington is there anything else I can do?  Yes there is, I think I’ll check out what high interest rate accounts there are going that I will eventually put this Post Office money into.  First stop, Lloyds Bank – my Bank.  Nobody on the Enquiries desk, no worries, plenty of other Banks about – I’ll go next door (can’t even remember what Bank it was now).  Me – “Hello is there anyone I can talk to about opening a new account”.  Them “I’m afraid you need to book an appointment for that”.  Me – “Don’t bother” and I walk out.  Plenty more fish in the sea.  So I go across the road to Santander.  Same question – same answer.  This time I part company with “You guys really don’t want the business do you?”

I had absolutely no idea whatsoever that the country had got into this panicked state about possible “dodgy money”.  How totally bloody ludicrous.  Am I the only one who didn’t realise what’s been going on out there??  This is just plain stupid.

So I did the best thing I could and came straight home and wrote this.

I am absolutely sure at the point that this is still not the end of the story.

Watch this space!!

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